After 13 days past my due date, Dr. Z Gyno Extraordinaire finally induced me to put me out of my misery and prove that there is good in humanity. Apparently I had an "unfavorable" cervix, which means it was not thinning, nor opening on its own. I was later to find out that I also have flat nipples. Strange, I thought my body was made to do this baby making business.
I went to the hospital open-minded, (which for me is a labor of a different color). I thought I could work my way through labor pains, so as to avoid what was rumored to be a huge needle in my back. After I heard my nurse say that Dr. Z Gyno Extraordinaire was on his way to break my water, I figured I was in for a long night and a world of hurt, so I asked for an epidural. The needle wasn't as bad as was rumored and it really didn't hurt...except for the part when the anesthesiologist hit a nerve causing my left leg to kick out, nearly missing my hubby's nut sack. I am forever grateful that I decided to get the epidural, for what was to come in the next few hours would have been real hell if I were in pain.
After 12 hours of pitocin and saline drip, the baby's heart rate continued to drop and finally the fetal heart rate monitor lost his heart rate altogether. About a dozen doctors and nurses came running in my room, moving my numbed legs in different directions until the babies heart rate returned. Meanwhile, one of the nurses threw a surgical outfit to hubby and told him to get dressed and grab his camera. We were obviously heading for an emergency c-section. Hubby was able to watch the whole procedure as he sat next to me. When Dr. Z Gyno Extraordinaire pulled the baby out of my belly, he announced that his cord was wrapped around his neck three times. Apparently this is really rare, and according to hubby it looked like the baby was wearing a sausage turtleneck. Gross.
From that point I remember telling hubby to follow the nurses who took the baby to an exam table at the side of the room, I really wanted as many photos as possible. While Dr. Z Gyno Extraordinaire and the assisting doc were talking about the last time they saw a baby with its cord wrapped around its neck three times, which they concluded was during the 2000 Olympics, they were trying to recall the names of the male gymnasts who rocked those games, as they remarked we should name the baby after them for his obvious gymnastic abilities. While these two docs were going on about the 2000 Olympics, and trying to recall the name of the Hamm brothers, I was wearing an oxygen mask, and trying to get someone's attention, I knew the answer and it was killing me that I couldn't communicate. Actually, it was killing me that I knew the answer and wasn't able to beat someone to the punch. I suppose this would be the slow painful death of a Jeopardy fan like myself.
As I was trying to answer "Olympians for $1200, Alex", the hubby was going down. He was escorted out of the OR white as a ghost. Apparently he had a stomach virus that reared its ugly head in all of the excitement and ended up spending the next three days sick as a dog. Thankfully one of the nurses took over his photojournalist duties, and he was able to collect himself and come back into the OR for our first family photos.
That was 10 days ago. Since then I've been falling in love more and more with my baby boy. He is not only beautiful, but he is such a good baby. I have to say, I wasn't prepared for the amount of sharting that comes from this little guy. There are some really explosive sounds down in diaper land, and they make me laugh every time. I can tell we're going to have a good time together!
